44: Moving Beyond Blame with Karilyn Ivers

Here’s a glimpse of what you’ll learn:

• Karilyn Ivers talks about working with clients whose partners struggle with various addictions

• What steps can you take to improve a troubled relationship that you don’t want to end?

• The importance of processing your emotions — and accepting that you can’t just make them go away

• How can blame interfere with personal growth?

• Why setting boundaries is one of the most valuable things you can do for your relationship

• The power of learning to listen to your intuition and trust yourself

• Karilyn explains how the victim storyline can keep you from moving forward

In this episode…

Relationships can be tricky to navigate under normal circumstances, but if your partner struggles with addiction, you’ll likely find yourself faced with additional challenges. Society’s biases toward addiction can make it difficult to talk about — especially if the only advice people give is that you should leave. But, if you’re not ready to end your relationship, how can you improve your situation and let go of the guilt and shame of staying in a difficult partnership?

Certified Life Coach Karilyn Ivers says that many of her clients initially come to her hoping that she can “fix” their partners, but relationships and addiction don’t work that way. If you want to improve your circumstances, it’s not about changing the other person — it’s about changing yourself. After all, you can’t control the world around you, but you can alter how you respond to it. If you want to feel less guilt, shame, and worry, Karilyn has some tips for learning to process your emotions and set better boundaries in your relationship.

In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Certified Life Coach Karilyn Ivers joins Dr. Marie Murphy to discuss how you can create your own happiness, listen to your intuition, and trust yourself — regardless of the difficulties in your relationship. Karilyn describes how addiction impacts relationships and explains why blaming, adopting a victim storyline, and attaching yourself to an outcome might end up doing more harm than good. Stay tuned!

Resources Mentioned in this episode

• Karilyn Ivers' website

• Karilyn Ivers on LinkedIn

• Karilyn Ivers on Instagram

• Your Partner’s Addiction podcast

• “Sexuality, Religion, and Shame with Melissa Hite” on Your Secret is Safe With Me

• Dr. Marie Murphy

• Schedule an Introductory Coaching Session with Dr. Marie Murphy

• Dr. Marie Murphy on LinkedIn

About Karilyn Ivers

Karilyn Ivers is a Certified Life Coach who works with the partners of those who struggle with addiction. She teaches people how to create their own sense of emotional security so they can have peace and experience joy in the midst of their partner's addiction. Using her coaching techniques, Karilyn shows her clients how to let go of their codependent tendencies and build true self-confidence that leads to lasting change — in themselves and their relationships.

Sponsor for this episode...

This episode is brought to you by Marie Murphy PhD Relationship Coaching.

Dr. Marie Murphy provides shame-free, blame-free, and non-judgmental relationship coaching. She draws from different philosophical traditions and approaches in order to better understand the human condition and the different types of professional assistance that can be germane to people in complicated relationship situations.

To learn more about her and her relationship coaching practice, visit www.mariemurphyphd.com today and schedule an introductory coaching session with Dr. Marie Murphy to begin the process of resolving your infidelity situation in a way that's truly right for you.