6: Historical Perspectives on Marriage with Dr. Devon Smith

Here’s a glimpse of what you’ll learn:

• The current beliefs about romantic love and marriage and how they have deviated from their historical origins

• How widespread cultural norms about what love should look like were first established (hint: pop culture!)

• Dr. Devon Smith talks about the (mostly impossible) standards we set for our romantic relationships

• Robert Sternberg’s research on the various love stories that are ubiquitous in our society

• The different ways that people might experience pressure to buy into the ideas of marriage and romantic love

• How love and marriage are viewed depending on where you are in the world

• Dr. Smith and Dr. Marie Murphy share some of the Western misconceptions around arranged marriages

• The importance of interrogating the notion that there is a “right” way to do things

In this episode…

The college degree, the 9-5 office job, the white picket fence, and, most importantly, the loving spouse and 2.5 children: once you’ve achieved these, you have it all! Or, do you?

Whether we’re aware of it or not, we’ve been taught that there’s a right way to do life—especially when it comes to our romantic relationships. In our culture, we’re told that to have a healthy love life, we must have one partner who serves all of our needs. Without any deviations, this relationship should end in marriage and a few children; till death do us part.

In this episode of Your Secret is Safe with Me, Dr. Marie Murphy sits down with Dr. Devon Smith, an Associate Professor of Sociology at Palomar College, to break down the cultural norms around love and marriage. Together, they talk about the history of marriage and romantic relationships, the different ways we’ve been taught to prioritize one model of love, and the importance of breaking down these stereotypes to reach a style of love that works for you. Keep listening. 

About Dr. Devon Smith

Dr. Devon Smith is an Associate Professor of Sociology at Palomar College in San Marcos, California. She received her Bachelor's Degree in Psychology from Emory University and her PhD in Sociology from the University of California, San Diego. Dr. Smith taught at UCSD for several years before landing her dream job as the Director of the Gender and Women's Studies program at Palomar College in 2014.

When she isn't hard at work, Dr. Smith enjoys activism, hiking, traveling, and trying new restaurants in San Diego.

Resources Mentioned in this episode

• Dr. Devon Smith’s email: [email protected]

• Love is a Story by Robert Sternberg

• Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

• Dr. Marie Murphy

• Dr. Marie Murphy on LinkedIn

Sponsor for this episode...

This episode is brought to you by Marie Murphy PhD Relationship Coaching.

Dr. Marie Murphy provides shame-free, blame-free, and non-judgmental relationship coaching. She draws from different philosophical traditions and approaches in order to better understand the human condition and the different types of professional assistance that can be germane to people in complicated relationship situations.

To learn more about and her relationship coaching practice, visit www.mariemurphyphd.com today and schedule an introductory coaching session with Dr. Marie Murphy to begin the process of resolving your infidelity situation in a way that's truly right for you.